Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
