For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
