stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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