i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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