the day after is always just damage control
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have fence marks all over my body
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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