4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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