Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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