I am puke
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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