Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize