I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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