Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple