I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.