Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You smell like stripper and shame
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.