I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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