hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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