she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
