I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
