So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize