You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
