Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
