her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
