i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
