He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Michael Bay diarrhea
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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