Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
