it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want a musical about memes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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