Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
