after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize