ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
