I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
