i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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