im six kinds of drunk right now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
