he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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