absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize