Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
