Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
