Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
