You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
