I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
