I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
