Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
