that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just high enough for therapy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
