If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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