okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
