Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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