I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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