Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
