With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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