whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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