'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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