Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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