And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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