also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
