im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
