Your mouth is God's brothel.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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