I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize